Less of You
by accioamber
Summary: Semi Epilogue-compliant Drarry. This is all new for Harry, and even though he's now being true to himself, it's still hurting a little in other ways. I'm bad at descriptions. Rated M for language.


"I don't want them around you if you're going to be with him. Period. I don't care what you do when you're on your own, but when you're with my children-"

"_Our _children, Ginny. Just because I left you doesn't mean they stopped being my kids, too."

"Well, when you moved out you left all of us. That was your choice. Obviously your family meant nothing to you, or at least not as much as some former Death Eater who would have killed you sooner than look at you 15 years ago...but whatever."

"First of all, you and the kids were-and still are, in a certain way-everything to me. That's why I stayed as long as I did, and why it was so hard to leave. I loved you."

"Yeah. Loved. Past tense. And obviously never in the way a husband is supposed to love a wife."

"I loved you enough to be married for 11 years and to have 3 kids with you."

"Whatever. Anyways, I don't want them around him. So if he doesn't leave now, I'm taking them with me and-"

"_Second of all,_ I didn't leave you for Draco. You know I never did anything with him while we were married. Why are you being such a bitch about this?"

"Because I still have some say over our children! I apparently didn't have any with our marriage, but I do with them!"

"Stop. You're being absolutely bloody ridiculous. Let it _go_, Ginny. Why does it have to be like this? You know that it wasn't working, neither of us were happy and if we weren't fighting we were just not speaking. It was hard on the kids and-"

"We are _absolutely_ not talking about this."

"So if you don't like the way something's going, we're just never going to talk about it, is that how this is going to work?"

"I just happen to think it's pointless to keep talking about our marriage and what it was, because the truth is that the whole thing was a damn lie and I prefer not to think about what a waste the last 11 years were."

"Well, I'm so dreadfully fucking sorry you had to waste your time being married to someone who took care of you and the children, brought home a steady paycheck, and tried his hardest to make a decent life for you. My apologies, Gin."

"Oh, don't you _dare_ pretend you're a bloody saint in all of this, Harry Potter. Let's talk about why it didn't work between us...you never did tell me how long you knew. When did it occur to you that you just happened to fancy wizards instead of witches? Was it after we'd already been married? Or was it before, before we were even dating? Hmm?"

"I hardly think we need to have this conversation."

"Only because you know the answer...you knew a long time ago, probably long before we were ever together. You lied to me for longer than I even care to think about. I don't know if you ever really loved me."

"Of course-"

"I don't want to hear it anymore. This little chat is over. Are you going to tell him to leave or not?"

"No, because they are my fucking kids too and they're part of my life, and Draco is too, now-"

"Then the four of us are going home." Ginny was bristling with anger, and she strode into Harry's apartment, leaving him standing in the hallway seething. James and Albus were sitting on the floor, playing with toy wands that George had given them from his joke shop. They were harmless, shooting out bubbles and the occasional paper bird, but the boys liked to pretend that they were fighting each other, the way they'd seen Harry and Ron duel before. "Come on, boys, it's time to go. Get your things."

Draco was standing back in the apartment's tiny kitchen, and he was holding Lily, who had her tiny hands clapped over her ears. Ginny threw a glare at Draco that would have killed him had it been a curse and roughly took the little girl from him. Lily kicked at her mother and whined "Drayyy!", reaching her arms out for him. In the relatively short time she'd spent with him, Lily had taken a strange liking to him that Harry, and certainly Draco, didn't quite understand. It wasn't that he was mean or cold and aloof with Harry's children; on the contrary, he tried his best with them, but suffice it to say Draco Malfoy was not quite the fatherly type, even with his own son, Scorpius, who was currently with his mother. But despite the fact that he had been trying awkwardly to get to know James, Albus and Lily, while trying to hold back curse words when one of them screamed or whined and pretending that sticky hands and snot didn't make him seriously consider a life without Harry, and children in general, Lily had almost immediately bonded with him.

Draco gave her a small smile and said, "It's alright, I'll see you soon, Lils, okay?"

Ginny went over to her boys and looked back at Draco. "No, you will not. Don't lie to her."

At that, Draco sneered at her. "Leave it to a Weasley to completely overreact. What do you think we're going to do, get so overcome by passion that we forget about the children and leave them to set the place on fire?"

Harry, who was now standing in the doorway, let out a small groan. "Oh, you are _so_ not helping..."

"Sorry." Draco muttered under his breath, and he shoved past Ginny and the kids and went into the bedroom, slamming the door. There was a moment's pause, hesitation, and Harry met her eyes. A thousand words passed back and forth between the two of them in the heavy silence; _I'm sorry_ and _it shouldn't have been like this_ and _I never meant to hurt you_ and _I don't want to hurt you either_ _but this __is the only thing I have left_ and _I still love you, if even only the slightest bit because of these kids_. But the moment was gone before either of them knew it, and soft eyes were replaced with hard stares, and nothing had been resolved. Maybe nothing would ever be resolved. Maybe it would always be this way, because he wasn't sure if Ginny would ever stop thinking that he had betrayed her in some way...and for all he knew, maybe he had. It didn't feel like it, but what did he know, other than that he hadn't lied...he _had_ loved Ginny.

"Come on, let's go. Say goodbye to Daddy." She said, shifting Lily higher on her hip and holding Albus' hand tightly.

"I want to stay with Daddy," James said stubbornly, and a tiny smile slipped onto Harry's lips. He was quite like his Uncle Ron in the fact that, even at the age of 6, he was stubborn as hell, especially towards his mother.

"You can't, not today, but maybe soon. It's entirely up to him, though, whether you do. He's got some choices to make," Ginny said, although she said the last part rather quietly. Lily laid her head on her mother's shoulder.

Albus looked up at Harry and said, "You don't want us here?" His bright green eyes, exactly like his father's, were wide and he looked absolutely pitiful. This was Harry's mini me -both James and Lily looked a lot like Ginny, with bright red hair and freckles- and it broke his heart to see the pain across his 5 year old son's face. For a second, he hated Ginny for doing this to him and to them, but he pushed that away; it certainly wouldn't help matters.

Harry kneeled down to Albus's level and offered him a smile. "Of course I want you here, there's nothing I want more, but-" the words that he wanted to say all involved blaming their mother, and saying that she was being an obstinate, hateful bitch, but he knew that the last thing they needed to hear was even more fighting; God knows that was all he and Ginny had done for months, "-right now something's come up and you've got to go with Mommy. But I promise I'll see you soon...maybe even later today, okay?" Albus nodded, but looked miserable, and James' face was set into an eerily familiar frown; when had his mischievous, trouble-making 6 year old started looking so unhappy all the time? Not for the first time Harry remembered that their divorce and near-constant fighting hadn't just taken a toll on his own moods and feelings.

He gave them all a hug and kissed Lily on the cheek; she had plugged her thumb into her mouth and was looking at him sleepily, silently reminding everyone that it was nearly time for her nap. With one last vindictive but satisfying glare at Ginny that he hoped the kids hadn't caught and an "I love you," to them, they were gone. He shut the door and sank onto the sofa, holding his head in his hands.

Harry had known his whole life that he was gay; he couldn't remember a time when he hadn't just carried this piece of information around with him, just like he knew that his hair was black and that he had a lightning shaped scar on his forehead and terrible eyesight, and for a long time he truly didn't care about it. It wasn't something he walked around and voiced, but then again, he hadn't considered it something to shout about—it was, after all, just another part of him.

It wasn't until he got older that he started worrying about things. He couldn't pinpoint when it had happened, but suddenly boys had gone from being attractive eye candy that he secretly drooled over to something else, something he couldn't quite put into words. Up until that point, boys had been cute, eye candy, something pleasing to look at. But he found himself attracted to them in an entirely different way. In a 'I want to kiss you and see what your eyes look like up close and be your boyfriend' kind of way. There was a Ravenclaw named Alexander that was in his year, and Harry liked him. He was certain it would never have worked out, as Alexander was the type of guy who always had a girlfriend, sometimes one that varied week to week. Despite that, he couldn't help but feel lonely as his peers started pairing up and dating, and this odd, difficult-to-understand want of his to have a boyfriend was what lead him to try dating Cho Chang. He was still, well over 10 years later, trying to figure out his reasoning behind _that_ one.

But it had happened, and it hadn't worked out, for obvious reasons, and he was back at square one. He went back to lusting over boys, and it was more than just Alexander. There were several other boys he had 'crushes' on, although their names had faded from memory with time. His thoughts still remained fairly innocent; he didn't envision himself doing much beyond kissing these boys, and just being with them. He wasn't quite there yet.

The first person he found himself feeling anything beyond benign hand holding was, to his great dismay, his arch nemesis Draco Malfoy. He had stopped thinking that he was cute, with the way his blond hair fell into his eyes and the way he slouched in his seat when he was bored in class. He wanted to touch him. He wanted to know what it felt like to touch his chest, to run his hands down his sides and grip his hips tightly, and he wanted to know what it felt like to shove his tongue in his mouth. As time went on, the list of things he wanted to do and wanted to touch got longer and dirtier, and he found it difficult to even be around Malfoy after a while.

He wanked over the very _thought_ of doing things with him for longer than he cared to admit.

But by the time he was in his sixth year, he saw the way Ron and Hermione looked at each other, and a part of him knew that one day they'd end up together. They'd get married and have 2.4 perfect, brilliant, red-haired wizard children and they'd be happy. Excruciatingly, perhaps even nauseatingly, happy for the rest of their lives. They'd have a family, and a home. Maybe even that damn white picket fence that everyone was always talking about.

He realized that even if he did come out, did get a boyfriend or a lover, or (in some strange, fucked up alternate universe) get together with Draco Malfoy, he'd never be able to have what Ron and Hermione would have. He and Mystery Boy (who was often played by Malfoy or other random attractive boys in the hallways in his mind) couldn't have kids together, not biological ones at least. So he made a decision: he'd pretend to himself and everyone around him (who all believed it to be true anyways, because he's never bothered to correct them) that he was straight. He'd find a girl that would love him, and he would love her in return, and together they'd have the perfect family that he had wanted for his entire life. They'd have children, and a home full of happiness and love instead of bitterness and anger, the way the Dursleys home had been.

After a certain amount of time, he actually found himself loving Ginny. They got married, and after she'd taken time to do her Quidditch career, and he'd gotten settled in the Auror office at the Ministry, they'd started a family. James and Albus were both a year apart, and Lily was two years younger than Albus. And he loved his children, and his wife. But as time went on, he started to realize what a sham his whole life was; he'd spent the better part of almost 15 years lying to himself and everyone around him. He and Ginny were growing apart, because he was becoming more distant; they were fighting more, and over silly things. He spent half the time feeling like Ginny was toying with the idea of leaving him, and the other half convinced that she had no clue their marriage was almost devoid of any deep, spiritual meaning. So he made a pact with himself: he wouldn't leave her and the kids. If she woke up one morning and rolled over and asked him for a divorce, he'd sign the papers when she shoved them at him. He wasn't going to be the one who ended it.

That changed, slowly but surely, when he found out that none other than Draco Malfoy was planning an internship in his department at the Ministry. He walked out of his office one night to go home and saw him shaking hands with the head of the Auror office.

"We're delighted to give you a chance, Mr. Malfoy, but we won't stand for any...indiscretions. Am I clear? Welcome to the team." It had been years since he'd seen Draco Malfoy, but he still knew him well. For the briefest of moments, a look of pure annoyance flashed across Draco's face, but it was replaced by the ass-kissing grin that he had always fed to Snape back at Hogwarts.

Harry was so caught up in his memories from many months ago that he didn't see Draco come into the room until he spoke.

"She's gone?" He said gruffly, and Harry snapped his head out of his hands and looked up at him.

"No, _they're_ gone. She took the kids with her." He said bitterly.

"She's a bitch." Draco said simply. "I'm bloody glad Astoria's not like that or I'd have to murder her. Then again, she's had more than a minute to get used to the fact that I'm attracted to men...and it helps that the man I'm with is Harry Potter, savior to all in the Wizarding World." Draco and Astoria had been divorced for almost 4 years now; they'd split up not long after Scorpius was born.

Harry looked at him with raised eyebrows. "She thinks of me the way the rest of the world does? But she's a Slytherin." He said in a confused voice.

Draco bristled. He sometimes forgot that the man he was dating was still so _obviously_ a Gryffindor; he considered it one of the biggest of Harry's flaws. "Well, I'm a Slytherin and we share a bed most evenings...you'd think that would have taught you not to judge a book by its cover, Potter."

After his fight with Ginny and watching her drag his kids away, the last thing he needed was to get into a fight with Draco, too. It wasn't worth it to argue with him; at least not now. "Sorry, I'm just in a mood." He said.

Draco shrugged. Then he said in a low voice, "Look, Weaslette will come around. She will. She's just pissed right now because she thinks you lied to her. And she's mad that I won the ultimate Potter prize after she thought for sure she had. As if a 15 year marriage and three children means she won. Pfft." He scoffed and then chuckled at the bemused expression on Harry's face.

Tentatively, cautiously, Harry moved closer to him on the couch. He reached out and gently put his hands on Draco's hips and looked him in the eye. This was still so new for him that most of the time he wasn't sure if he was doing the right thing; he usually waited for Draco, who was more experienced in pretty much everything, to take the lead. Draco rolled his eyes a little, sensing Harry's insecurity and pulled him even closer. He kissed him roughly, accidentally biting his lip, and it caught Harry off guard a little bit. They had both changed immensely since leaving Hogwarts-Draco wasn't a complete ass all the time, for example-but they were both still quite different in many ways.

Harry was about to kiss him back when they both heard a tapping on the window. An owl was sitting outside, a letter clamped tightly in its beak, impatiently waiting for someone to let it in. "It better not be from Ginny," Harry muttered as he got up and opened the window. Once he got there, however, he realized it wasn't her owl, but one he'd never seen before. The envelope said _Draco_ on the outside. "It's for you."

_Draco,_

_Something's come up with my mother; she's not doing well at all right now and my sister thinks that I should be there. I was wondering if you could come and get Scorpius and keep him for a couple of days. I know it's short notice and it's not your weekend, but I'd really appreciate it. He doesn't need to be around my family right now, not with everything that's going on. Please let me know as soon as possible._

_Astoria_

"As if I'd fucking say no, he's my son. Like it matters that it's 'not my weekend'." Draco muttered, folding the letter up and throwing it on the table. "Do you have any parchment?" He asked Harry, who got up and rummaged around in his desk until he found some, along with a quill and some ink.

"I've got to go and get Scorpius, Astoria's mother isn't doing so well and she needs me to keep him at my place for a couple of days." Draco scrawled a quick reply, gave it to the owl, and watched as it flew away quickly. "Want to get dinner with us later? I can't cook worth a damn and the little bugger gets mad if I try and serve him ketchup and crackers as a meal." He smiled when Harry laughed at him.

"Sure, sounds good. I might try and smuggle the kids away from Ginny to come with us, if that's okay with you. Maybe I'll just tell her I'm taking them out. I at least want to go and see them, I feel terrible with the way we left things."

Draco started to put his coat on, and careful not to look at Harry, said, "You really think it's smart to undercut her right after you two got into a huge fight?"

"What? Since when do you care about me making Ginny angry? And whose side are you on, anyway?" Harry asked angrily.

Draco looked up at him finally and then, after a moment's pause, came over to him. "There are no _sides_ between you and I, Harry. But there are sides between you and Ginny. I just don't think the right way to get her to stop being a bitch about me being around your kids is to lie to her about it. But just do whatever you think is right. Meet you at the Leaky Cauldron around 6." Draco said, and he gave him a quick kiss. As he walked out of Harry's apartment, he called over his shoulder, "And don't be mad at me!"

Harry sighed. How could he be mad at him..especially when he was right?


End file.
